Raising Your Standards

The first step to improving your self worth is to get real and honest with yourself about what you allow to happen in your life. You can’t control everything around you, but you can control the boundaries you set up. And what that really means is taking ownership of your life.  

What would happen if you didn’t allow negativity into your life?
If you stopped watching trashy reality tv?
Or limiting the time you spend with or letting go of friends who keep killing your dreams? 

It starts with your choices. When you raise the bar to what choices you’re making, you will start to see a shift in how you feel about yourself. 

Think about the choices you’re making every single day.
Are you allowing someone’s criticism or judgement determine how you live your life?
Do you blame the circumstances of nature or what’s happening around you for your bad day? 

Let’s address those real quick. In order not to allow someone’s criticism or judgement steer the direction your life starts to take, you have to think about how well that person knows you. And nobody, not one single person knows you better than you do. So you know that their judgement is not a real representation of who you are as a person. It rains and you were planning to hike, there’s traffic and now you’re late. These aren’t things that are happening TO you, they’re happening around you. The Universe did not conspire to make your life a living hell. But, YOU are allowing things that are out of your control to determine your happiness. Why? 

I’ll let you in on a little secret. When you raise your standards for how you are going to allow yourself to feel, happiness gets a whole lot easier!

I encourage you to do the next three exercises I’ve compiled. As a result you’ll start to raise your standards, set the bar higher for yourself, and see your self-worth start to rise! You can continue to do these exercises anytime you feel your self-worth diminishing for any reason. 

Exercise #1: 

Write down all the things you will no longer allow or tolerate in your life. These are going to be your new standards for living. Every time you make a choice to adhere to these standards your self-worth goes up.  

A few examples are: not letting someone’s opinion change the way you feel about yourself. Eliminating conversations with others that focus on gossip. Not continuously waiting for someone to text you back because every time you do you feel anxious. 

Exercise #2:

Make three promises to yourself this week that you make sure you keep. Remember, these are promises not things you say you’re going to do. They can be anything you want to accomplish or do for yourself. After you’ve kept each promise you made, focus on how it makes you feel. 

Some examples are promising to work out for 30 minutes on a specific day. Making dinner 4 nights this week, starting that project you’ve been talking about. 

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Exercise #3: 

Write down everything you aspire to become. This doesn’t just include job titles and income, but daily actionable traits. Open your mind to how you treat others, what contributions you’re making, and how your actions are impacting those around you. 

For example, you may want to be the person who gives the homeless guy something to eat. Or the person who says hello to a passing stranger. Or the one who genuinely asks their co-workers how they’re doing.